What is communication? the first is the words we use.. The best test is that we need to take the literal meaning of the words .. if we hear the same words without any context how we will interpret them.. believe me it will be crazy!!! :-)
Lot of times we are looking for the input/opinion on a certain thought.. When we present the thought as a statement/fact. What is for the other person to do? either agree or disagree .. so it mostly a yes or a no answer from the other person.. and if the other person have a difference in opinion there is no room for that.
Let's look at the following in terms of weather
It is hot .. this is a statement that either the other person agree or disagree.. Here the conversation becomes tough as for if the other person agree or people don't want to disagree for something that they are not very picky about.. but from your point of view .. you wanted to have a conversation.. but the conversation was started in a way that there are only 2 answers and that is it...
I think it is hot .. is more of a person's opinion.. so it is easy for the other person to share what they think. This can lead to a better conversation about what we do in hot weather or how every one deals with the hot weather in their own different way... if the conversation starter is a yes or no question then the conversation doesn't go anywhere .. this could make us frustrated..
(It is almost like asking for Apple juice and expecting Orange juice to be served and blaming others that Orange Juice was not served )
It is important for words and
thoughts/expectation/presentation to match.
Putting up a proper questions sometime may present a person as if they are not sure of what they are talking about.. i think it depends on the relationship that we have with a person. This is one reason that we want to be truthful and transparent in some relationships.. as presenting opinions as facts (misuse of vocabulary) may lead to long-term mistrust in relationship.. in relationships we are not inclined to have a yes and no answer in most of the cases .. as relationships are more about helping each other grow, understand each other, respect and accommodate other opinions.
what we are at 25 is different than what we are at 35 or 45 or 55.. the longer the relationship the more is needed for each person in relationship to grow, accommodate and understand.
When we are married and may or may not have kids.. Two people in marriage is like a team which is standing against the challenges that world is throwing at them.. having this kind of disconnect will not let us prosper, give better life to us and our family and this kind of communication/"lack of vocabulary" can lead to loss in direction, conflicts and is self defeating..
Improve your communication and a better use of Vocabulary for loving relationship, prosperity and to be happy. I love you or I hate you.. is what we say to the person we love in every word we say. So it is important to say words in a way that makes them loved and respected. Improper use of words can make the other people feel like "you hate them" where as you want to say "I Love YOU".
- Be clear - You may think the other person understands, but they might not
- Be open - Discuss everything you have been meaning to express
- Be verbal - Use words to accurately express your concerns
- Don’t be cryptic - Don’t leave room for interpretation
- Don’t be hidden - You need to put everything out on the table
- Don’t be non-verbal - Non verbal communication can send the wrong message/impression
- Above 6 statements are from article from California State University Long Beach
Try avoid use of Strong words in negative context. It will make it easy to have a good conversation.