Saturday, November 29, 2014

Technically Right … does that make you Happy?? Self Analysis

I think most of us have been into situation where we think we are right or the other person saying something doesn't make sense. We all have our own different ways of dealing with the situation. Imagine two people having conversation they both have no clear idea or in-depth knowledge of the subject they are trying to discuss :-).  For this  conversation let's assume that we know what we are doing.

I will take a simple example of color.. left box is white and right box is a little off white.. 

(you need to read the whole article to have fun)
For a common person (Person B) who does not have much interest in color.. these both will almost look same, but for a person (Person A) who is into color and into perfection will probably see a difference in them. Imagine these two person having a conversation.. one doesn't care much about the color difference and one is like these are different color.. How will be the conversation go forward.  For the person who cares is technically right. For this conversation if you are the technically right person.. you are trying to engage in a conversation topic.. where other person is not interested or technically incapable of appreciating your point of view. This is possible due to some of the following ....

  1. The person may not have the same interest/liking.
  2. The person cannot think in technical terms as you are.
  3. This may be the least important thing for this person at this time in life.
  4. You may have time in life to think about these thing the other person may not.
  5. The thing that you feel important may not be important for the other person.
Now imagine you as Person A is mad at Person B because you are thinking they don't understand you.. To understand this better you start having a conversation about Person B not understanding what you are saying with Person C. Now what is the probability that Person C will see the things the same as you (Assuming you are right) if they also think like Person B... you will hate it and not be happy.

What happens  if you (Person A) is wrong (doesn't understand complete picture) that means that Person C  needs to know the right thing and should be able to clearly explain in technical terms and  assume that you understand and also explain why the person B is not understanding Person A's point of view. If the Person C is not able to do it then you are more mad at Person C because you expected Person C to understand you better and they also don't.  So now all the hate is being sent to a person who unfortunately have less fault than Person B :-).  Hoping the Person A is open or willing to listen to other point of view as well.. if not .. person C is in a bigger trouble.


You can be mad at the world for not thinking the way you are thinking and decide not to engage because people are stupid/naive and they don't know what's around them. This will only harm you to be successful in life.. as you can probably see that most of the successful people know how to deal with people around them and have great teams.. there are always exceptions.

Save yourself some grief... We think the other person is wrong and we are thinking hard.. why that person can be so stupid/naive not to understand what we are thinking.  For most of the conversations we have, it may not matter.. for some we need to get it right.. for the one's which doesn't matter we need to let it go to save us some grief.

Being technically right will win you a case in the court of Law.. family, friends and people around us are not in the court of Law.

(If we don't get a +ve response to our interest.. we should step back and think how important is the thing that we are talking about to the other person.. if it is not then probably let it go and have another conversation with the person or find some one else with a common interest.)

So probably being technically right may not make us feel happy.. but understanding that people around us may not see the most simple thing the way we see it...  may make you feel better and more thoughtful in how we deal with them.. with this understanding i think you will be lot happier in life than not.. hope this  helps and HAPPY JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE.


 I will end this article with the following Video.. 
worth watching and you can decide how you want to live


If you want to have little fun, replace Person A = Wife , Person C = Husband , Person B = someone you both may or may not know.  OR vice verse for Wife and Husband.






















Sunday, November 23, 2014

Bad Advice.. is it Really ? Self Analysis (This is what I would do)

How many times we think that we have been given bad advice and people don't think well and they intentionally give bad advice to us so that we fail. I think i have also felt many times , but then i don't know everything out there so i need to talk to people and get their opinions.

Since we are not know all... we need to rely on people and information which is out there to make us educated and improve our lives. Let's see the following scenario.. is it us or the other person.

Now let's say same advice is given to 2 different people 
e.g.  the Advice is .. "Talk to People for Success"

let's take 2 personalities


Soft Spoken Person
Ego Centric Person

A soft spoken and focused person will know what to talk to another person and will be able to figure out a way to make other person align (common interest) with their goal and succeed.



A ego centric person will be self-focused, probably doesn't care about other person and will focus on what they need .. they may come out as a selfish person .. Now how do we expect other people to work with a person who only care about themselves.


Outcome of same advice is different to different people, depending on how we absorb the information, What our personalities are and how we implement it. Given all the factors .. probably the person who advised us doesn't have any control over the outcome.

another lighter example will be.. wearing Red color.. lot of celebrities wear RED and look good..  it totally depends on the person and personality on whom a RED color will look good.. on some it may not... we know when color doesn't look good on us.. likewise every advice that we hear..

Given that most of us don't understand ourselves completely what is the possibility of we are able to understand the other person  and give them advice tailored to their needs. So an advice is a general thought which is shared and it depends on the person receiving the advice to tailor as per their needs and implement it.

On the flip side of the coin .. we are given an advice which is intended to do us harm. Again the input should be taken into consideration and implemented only when we feel it will have a positive outcome.

We are responsible for our own Actions

When you may have asked for a advice someone may have said "This is what I would do" :-). What the person is saying is that for what I know .. I will do this thing in a certain way... Now it is totally your call to make of what you think and what are your constraints to implement it. I kinda understood it long time ago.. while writing this article I feel now I fully understand what it means.

If we don't understand what's good and bring peace for us .. how can we make right decisions. If we cannot make right decisions.. how can any advice help us?  Overall if we have been blaming other .. may be we want to consider the way we think and the way we do things for us. Keep in mind this article is about self analysis and eliminating any wrinkles in our personalities to improve ourselves. Hope this helps and Happy Journey through life.

SOMETIMES WE ARE LOOKING FOR ADVICE , 
BUT ARE NOT WILLING TO LISTEN AS WELL.